"Got to be a . . .

"macho, macho man . . . "

Check out this broad, er, former broad. No, make that teenage boy impersonator.

Tidbit: Women have been called broads for a reason. A woman is called a broad because she has a pelvis especially designed to give birth. “Honey, does this dress make my ass look big?” “No, sweetheart, your pelvis does.”

But what has happened to all those pelvises, like the one that made Marilyn Monroe look the way she did?

Why do so many younger women have the physique of teenage boys? Could it be all those vaccines?

The ongoing problem for mentally ill women is, of course, the pelvis. Mentally ill women like the one at the top of the page can pay a surgeon-cum-butcher to, ahem, remove her healthy breasts. (“Remove”, how anodyne a term. I prefer the more realistic non-euphemism, chop off.) But removing breasts will not decrease the span of a pelvis. Yo, Ellen, did the doc mention that?

Mentally ill women can get their chests rearranged; and some even think they can come home from the laboratory with a penis made from all that discarded breast tissue. Tidbit: They can’t. Oh sure, they might come home with something attached to a certain area of their bodies. That “area” will have been slightly altered with a needle and some thread; and what the mentally ill female will see down there will be a penis in the sense that she has become a male. Ooo . . . magic.

(Don’t judge a book by its cover, unless it is fiction.)

The woman in the upper photo is named Elliot, now. Ellen sounded feminine . . . how odd. She is another of those Hollywood things I had never heard of; but, sadly, other people have.

Guess who doesn’t know about her. That’s right, Wikipedia. The scholars of pap and drivel at that dubious website refer to her as him. They want misguided readers to be further misguided by their peculiar brand of political activism. In case you don’t already know, Wikipedia is just so much trivial nonsense, whose loyalists vote for Democrats.

But what to do with those pelvises? Will pelvis transplants someday be available to mentally ill women? Perhaps, but not before Mars has shopping malls and coffee shops. Be patient.