Stupid is as stupid does

over and over and over

Arsonist: “Man, I doan know what happen. I just be barbecuin’ some ribs and this bitch start smokin’ and stinkin’ up the house.”

https://www.breitbart.com/crime/2023/05/14/ohio-man-allegedly-sets-dads-girlfriend-fire/

***

Joe Biden was led to a microphone recently, where he assured Americans that everything on the border is hunky-dory. “Look,” he muttered, “here’s the thing. Things are going really well down there. Better than you expected. Some of my people have been down there, seen it. I’m proud of my son. He’s done nothing wrong.” A Secret Service agent then led the old man back inside the White House, where Doctor Jill served him hot oatmeal.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/us-southern-border/2023/05/14/id/1119758/

***

German chancellor Olaf Scholz stepped up and told Ukraine’s dwarf president that Germany was rooting for that country’s entry into the crumbling European Union (EU).

“Vee cahn rememper how much you helped Chermany with our death camps, back in the 1940’s, and vee owe you for that. Und once there, you cahn lobby to join the useless North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). It is free of charge. America pays for everything.”

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/scholz-ukraine-eu/2023/05/14/id/1119735/

***

Vladimir Putin was seen sitting at his desk, laughing hysterically.

“Do you remember how I shut down pipelines sending gas to Germany and Poland? Do you remember that? Well, now the Europeans say they will not allow anymore of our gas to come through the pipes. Duh, excuse me? HAHAHAHAHA!”

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/russia-pipeline-g7/2023/05/14/id/1119718/

***

An informant with information about the Biden Crime Family is missing. He was last seen getting into a limousine with Hillary and Bill Clinton.

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/james-comer-joe-biden-hunter-biden/2023/05/14/id/1119740/

***

“Look, let me be clear,” Joe Biden told attendees at a Democrat garden club meeting. “There are no Americans in Ukraine, fighting. Americans only want peace. If we sent our soldiers over there, they’d get wounded, maybe killed. The border is secure, and my son has done nothing wrong. I’m talking about Hunter. The other one is dead. Got cancer fighting in Iraq or somewhere. It’s about peace. No boots on the ground. Never happen. I love my son. I’ve never talked business with him, especially on our trips together to Ukraine. That’s where we vacation. I think Hunter had a job over there one time. Never discussed it.”

https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/iran-syria-drone/2023/05/14/id/1119741/

***

And in Texas, the governor is sending specially trained troops to the southern border. “These troops are experts in the use of cell phones,” Gov. Abbott said, “and the Mexicans need technical assistance. The feds are givin’ ‘em free phones, but it’s up to Texas to teach ‘em how to use ‘em. A lot of ‘em don’t even speak English.”

***

Aw, gee.

“We did our best to survive using as guidance the “Communist Manifesto”, but it didn’t work. So we’re gonna close up shop, buy a tent, and move to Portland, Oregon. Those people out there know how to live.”

https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2023/05/14/what-a-shock-torontos-anti-capitalist-cafe-closing-down-after-just-a-year-in-business/