Words

of the day.

FEMINISTS, n. : usually women who couldn’t cut it in the local garden club, but sometimes they are men.

FEMINIST MOVEMENT, n. : a sort of women’s comedy troupe that thrived briefly in the latter half of the 20th century. Best known for its amusing antics, including feigned indignation and wounded pomposity, and its ultimate thump bump collapse when the membership tripped on their panties while groping for someone (Bill Clinton) who might “feel their pain”, or something. Thinking they believed they had accomplished something somehow, afterwards they hugged and gave some speeches. It should be noted that it is not unusual for aging feminist leaders (Gloria Steinem, the fish & bicycle woman) to abandon their vitriolic flock for the sanctity of marriage (to rich white men). But such idyllic nuptials should under no circumstances be interpreted as embracing or even insinuating hypocrisy. As every Good Feminist knows, only white males can be hypocritical.

— the Devil’s Dictionary Revisited

The above definitions were written about 25-years ago. Since that time American feminists have devolved. No longer are they mere gadflies, but more likened to earlier incarnations, maggots to be precise. Modern feminists are crazed, irrational, dangerous people. Is it the bottled water or the boxed wine that is making them crazy? Has cat fur disturbed their metabolism? Has living in the freest, richest country the world has ever known become too much of a burden? What is it they long for?

Psst, whatever answer you may offer, just know that you will be wrong.